Why Blogging?

Back to the days when the internet wasn't around, the diary was our friend.
Now thanks to our advanced technology, we can now write anything, anywhere, anytime we want.
And the best part? We can share our diary entries with others too.

I wasn't a big fan of writing out my feelings and thoughts. In fact, I've never had a diary before.
Partly because I feel insecure if I express my inner most thoughts. What if someone reads it by accident? Then
I would feel completely transparent as though standing naked in front of a crowd...

...waiting for judgment...

Thus, I've always kept everything inside...
Now Freud may say that isn't the best way to do. Since whatever I've suppressed deep in my unconsciousness may come
back and haunt me every now and then (Perhaps it did)
Yet I still chose it.

My sister was the one introduced me to blogging a few years ago.
I remembered asking her---Why blogging? Why you want other people to know what you're thinking?
Her answer was--So that years later, when I read these things I've written I can feel what I felt at that moment...

Once I entered the blogging world, I noticed different kind of blogs: Some record what they did that day, some put pictures, some put news and stories they like, while others write reviews about certain products and items, some other write what's in their minds...

After a while, I got used to blogging. It feels good--being able to express my thoughts. It's like talking about yourself to another person without restriction, without the fear that you may be judged or misunderstood.
And the 'other person' only listens =).

Of course, I will still keep certain feelings to myself.

But the rest? I'm willing to share with you

Sometimes....

....You wish that you can disappear from this world.
....You wish that you can turn back time and start everything all over again.
(But only to find that you repeat the same mistakes)
....You wish that you can disappear but you feel that life is too precious,
too important to waste...
...so that you wish you can give years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds of your life away to those who really need and can really treasure it.
...You wish that you can return to yesterday to be a child, no more worries, pains, and sufferings.
You know that this is selfish and isn't the best way to solve everything, but your shoulders and legs are just too tired to move on.
...You wish one never compares you to others, so that your self-esteem doesn't hurt.
...You wish you can be stronger, so that you would not sit here and write all these.
...You wish you don't think much, don't keep everything inside, so the feelings would not be as hard.
...You wish that you have many lives, so that you can experience ways to escape.

You want to feel the wind, you want taste the saltiness of the blood mingled with tears, you want to slowly drift to sleep...

You walk away.



Sometimes you're just tired and disappointed.
. Please.
.Rest.


Tomorrow is a new day, and you will probably forget these feelings now.